Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize