Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
