Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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