Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
