It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We got so high we made milksteak
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize