Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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