Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
