you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
