I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
