i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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