I think my fart just growled at me.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i dont even know how to be here
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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