Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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