called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
