great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
