Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Holy shit dude........stairs
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
