You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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