who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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