doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
