He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
