Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize