he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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