You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize