may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
