I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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