ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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