how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
