You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
