I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
