i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
