You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I stole a fireplace last night.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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