eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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