you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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