I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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