the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I am mentally ready for anal.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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