Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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