why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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