His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
