so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
you made out with another girl for some wings
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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