biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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