Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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