I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
