I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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