If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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