Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
