So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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