she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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