anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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