I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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