we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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