was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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