no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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