He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
