If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize