when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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