Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
