So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
