God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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