I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
