if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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