Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
