He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
bring money and cleavage
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
