I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
