So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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