I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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