What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
