after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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