who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize